It IS Love!!!

It Must Be Love!

A Day Well Spent!

Yesterday I had the pleasure of attending a stop the bullying conference with our Interim Superintendent sponsored by Rutgers University, Upward Bound. Also in attendance were about 100 of our students along with approximately 400 other students county wide.

It started with a 7-person panel representing education, judicial, law enforcement, social services, GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network) and LLEGO (Gay–Bisexual-Transgender Union of Rutgers University). The broad discipline and the “hue” of the panel were extraordinary, and in my opinion allowed every student in that room to feel personally invited to be a part of the conversation.

For many a detail like diversity is often ignored, overlooked and/or undervalued, sometimes unconsciously – sometimes not. For me, that sets the tone for everything else I will experience during an event. If I don’t see people who like me as an integral part of the conversation, in leadership, then I don’t feel “my” experience will be fairly represented – and at the end of the day don’t we all just want to be able to relate and be related to? This is a deeper conversation for a later time. For now – let me share the awesomeness of this well planned, well orchestrated information rich student-centric conference.

The knowledgeable panel gave very sound advice, and very specific examples of bullying and its legal implications. For example, most students (as well as many adults) think of bullying as a physical act of brutality, but in fact with the advent of social networks and text messaging this definition has taken on a whole new life. Texting insults, sexting (sexual provocative text messages or photos), posting photos without permission and sending rumors via the internet are all prosecutable under the newly constructed bullying laws in our State. The prosecutor on the panel gave the student very clear guidance as to the seriousness in which bullying is being viewed and prosecuted by our State. And although she informed them her goal was not to scare them, I think she did a pretty good and appropriate job in giving them honest information and a formal warning.

The audible gasps by the students let me know many began to rethink some of the things they may have posted, participated in, and/or commented on.

There was also a sensitivity element shared by the panelists. The widely used expression “That’s so Gay” and the very popular use of the word “Nigger” were two called out specifically. A feeling and face were put on these two verbal expressions. As I watched the emotions on the student’s faces I saw an awareness light their eyes. Certainly I don’t expect that they all got it, or that it will be eradicated, but I certainly believe the more people who become aware of how it makes people feel (thus humanizing it) the closer we become to a more caring society.

Another relevant and often overlooked part of bullying that was highlighted was with regard to the onlooker, the passerby, the passive participant. Again, in watching the student’s reactions and hearing their audible rumblings, I think they were exposed to another part of the bullying equation. One of the panelists did a demonstration that provided the students with a way to effectively manage through a bullying situation. She showed the students how to approach the “victim” and walk them away from the situation, thus diffusing it. It was practical and applicable, and was met with a rousing round of applause once the demonstration concluded.

They also had a phenomenal speaker who did a live presentation for almost 2 hours. This deserves its own post over the weekend.

The maturity and behavior of our students and all those in attendance was laudable. Not a single incident, not a profane word or a single raised voice in agitation. Our PHS and Barack students did us PROUD PLAINFIELD!

What "We" Need!!

In the past year we’ve had two businesses come into town; C-Town and 7/11 – I personally contacted the owners of both of these establishments. (Note: Pollo Campero was not yet here.) I spoke to the owner of C-Town to discuss employment for some of my youth mentees. I provided them with applications and my contact information. I went back and still nothing resulted, not even a courtesy phone call.

How do we as a community get these businesses to understand that the very solvency of their businesses depends on the health and wellness of the youth in this community?

The Mayor offered this tidbit as a result of following up with C-town; apparently they complained that they (Plainfield residents) were not being responsible employees. They were calling out last minute, not showing up at all or showing up late. The implication is that Plainfield residents are not employable.

If someone told me this about my city’s residents I would immediately implement a job training program, as well as negotiate with the displeased merchant to allow me an opportunity to help him or her find proper placement.

I think here’s where we X, Y, and older generations falter. We forget that someone taught us. None of us were “good” employees automatically. We were coached through mock interviews, behavior expectations/role modeling, dressing for success ideas, eye contact and hand shaking strategies, as well as information to help us understand what employers look for when hiring.

We owe it to this generation to do likewise!

I have read a lot of ire regarding the contract awarded to the Heard One Complex for job training, but let me tell you a little story. I had three mentees that graduated high school this past year, neither of them opted for college for one reason or another so I sent them to the Heard One job training program over the Summer. Only One went two didn’t.

The one that went has two jobs to date. That’s right not 1 but 2. The other two felt they didn’t need this program and now they are both struggling to find jobs. So often people take issue with process, or their perception of the lack of proper processing, that they forget to take a look at the actual and factual -- like can they do what they say they will do, and are they doing what they said they would do. If I were to measure the effectiveness of the Heard One job training program they would be running at 100%.

To our Mayor (and had she not left out of the meeting so quickly I would have told her personally) I say go back to C-Town; Dairy Queen, McD’s and that entire corridor of businesses and negotiate employment opportunities for our young people as though their life depends on it because guess what – it does. Call me – I’ll go with you!

I heard our youth say loud and clear that we need to work on providing them with:

• Job Training

• Job Opportunities

• Safe, Engaging, Recreational Activities that they would like to do.


If we focus on anything other than what will produce any of these three things we will continue to fail our youth and the damage will be inestimable!

What I Heard...What I think -- What I Think I Heard!

It was quite encouraging to see such a cross-section of participate at the recent Youth Master Plan session; (YMP- as I will be referring to it going forward) a meeting led by Council President Annie McWilliams. There were entrepreneurs, elected officials, pastors, business and medical professionals, law enforcement, educators, social services and recreational personnel, a gang member, as well as current students who live in the district at the table.

There were no loss for words with this bunch of seasoned elocutionists, but some of the more salient points were delivered by a young man, and current gang member, and a few of our youth who are working on the Plainfield Youth Summit 2011 (more to come about this initiative).

Our law enforcement seem to be concentrating on identifying the misdirected youth, our Mayor was totally absorb with what “she” has done, what “she” is proud of and what “she” would like to see happen.

The problem I have with both of these positions is that 1). Once you have identified the troubled youth – then what? What alternatives are you going to offer them to counter and/or replace the negative behaviors?

And

2). If what you have done is not stemming the tide of gang violence then it is NOT effective for the very purpose for which it was created. I am not going to jump on the bandwagon to beat our Mayor down, but I will say I was disappointed with her decision to use this meeting as a bully pulpit instead of an opportunity for collective discourse regarding the uplifting of our youth. It certainly is not all her fault, but it would be ludicrous to continue to poor energy and effort into something that is not working. If the youth are telling you they need jobs, and what you are doing is not creating employment opportunities – then you are NOT helping to provide solutions to the issues.

They are telling us THEY NEED something to do…THEY NEED a job…THEY NEED a way to meet financial obligations in their households.

Why do we bother asking our youth what they want and need only to provide them with what “we” think they want and need?

I think the answer to the issues facing our youth is as simple as giving them what they have asked for -- alternative, safe recreational activities that THEY NEED, WANT and will ENJOY……….and………jobs!

Hasta Luego!

Part II Later...